Tonight, I went upstairs to the bedroom with these Apple products:

  1. iPhone 13 Pro Max, silver, 512 GB.
  2. Apple case for the iPhone.
  3. Apple Wallet for the iPhone – I upgraded to take advantage of its new Find My capabilities.
  4. AirPods Pro with charging case.
  5. iPad Pro 12.9 inches (2020 model) with cellular and 1 TB– My favorite computer.
  6. Apple Pencil 2nd generation.
  7. Magic Keyboard for the iPad Pro.
  8. Apple AirTag on my AirPods Pro case.
  9. Another Apple AirTag on my smart Hidrate Spark Steel water bottle.
  10. Apple Card in the wallet.

These were just the Apple products I carried. I have even more Apple products at home and in my home office.

I look forward to Apple events, block off the time in my calendar, and invite family and friends to watch the event with me. So far, no one has voluntarily watched an entire event with me. I guilted my wife into sitting through a portion of one, which I know she did only out of much love for me.

“What if your daughter liked Samsung?” a friend asked a few months ago. “I suddenly need to sit down,” was my anxious reply.

My mother-in-law’s “joke” was to buy Apple and Samsung stickers to see which my daughter instinctively prefers. My daughter, who was around seven months at the time, liked both. “I think she likes the Samsung one better and is just playing with the Apple one to make you happy,” my mother-in-law might have suggested.

I sometimes think that my only brother and my brother-in-law buy Android phones to torture me. “No!” I exclaimed. “Whatever face recognition that thing has isn’t Face ID.” I explained the difference. No one listened, or, at least, they pretended not to.

I was delighted when I heard someone give an ultimatum to an Android user: “If you don’t get an iPhone, I will stop sharing pictures of the baby with you.” For a few moments, the world seemed right, bright, and wonderful.

Then, a repairman who finished a job at my house had me sign a receipt on his Samsung Galaxy Note. The experience was incredible. “Why can’t my uselessly large iPhone Pro Max do this?” I asked without meaning to. I’m still trying very hard to forget the experience of using the Note.

“Unfortunately, I’m locked in the Apple ecosystem, but–actually–that’s what makes Apple products so great,” I started saying. . . . “Yes, it’s really called an ‘ecosystem.’” . . . “No, I didn’t make it up.” . . . Why do conversations like this take weird twists and turns?

Urban Dictionary has interesting definitions of Apple fanboy, including: “People that are addicted to spending their money on Apple products.” That definition sounds a little unfair, and this even more: “A person who believes in almost anything that apple says and gives into it’s marketing strategy.”

If you want to watch an Apple Event together, please leave a comment below.